Thursday, 21 September 2017

Parental guidance On How To Stop Child Abuse


Jesus Christ placed a high demand on childrearing, and one of the contemporary issues that must sadden His heart is the sexual abuse on children.

It is an unpleasant subject, but one that poses a serious threat; statistically, one out of three girls and one out of five boys will suffer some form of sexual abuse by age eighteen.

It is dangerous to think it cannot happen in your family or church because it happens to all kinds of people.

Surprisingly, children in Christian homes because of fear and shame often do not tell anybody when they have been abused.

Therefore you must be on the alert for symptoms of abuse in children under your care.

Physical symptoms include unexplained redness, swelling, bruises, infection, or bleeding.


Other symptoms usually include some form of marked changes in behavior that is uncharacteristic of the child, such as reverting to bedwetting or thumbsucking, showing fear of a person or place, or having nightmares or sleep disorder.

Any single physical or behavioral symptom can be caused by something other than abuse, but each should still be checked out.

When clusters of these symptoms occur, they are definite warning signs.

When you have valid reasons to suspect that your child has been abused, file a police report.
Register the urge to investigate the case privately.

Many christians cringe at the thought of causing someone to go to jail, and this may be especially true if the perpetrator is a friend or family member.

Most abused children are victimized by someone they know or trust.

However, you must remember that God established civil government to punish wrongdoing, See Romans. 13:4.

Furthermore, many child abusers are habitual offenders, and those who are not prosecuted remain free to abuse other children.

Abused children should be given a medical examination.


Children sometimes sustain physical damage or contract diseases through sexual abuse, and early detection and treatment are very important.

Parents will also wonder whether an abused child needs professional counselling or therapy. While needs vary greatly from child to child, it is a good idea to schedule at least one evaluative session with a trained counselor.

Some children will need no more than this, while others may need multiple sessions to help them work through fear, anger, and mistrust; those who have suffered repeated abuse, have been victims of incest, exhibit serious behavioral symptoms, or will be participating in a trial fit into this category.

The most important factor in child's recovery is the response by his or her parents.

Tell your child that you are sorry that something bad happened and that you will do all you can to prevent further harm.

You should remain calm in the child's presence because hysteria can convey the message that he or she has done something wrong.

Excessive anger expressed toward the perpetrator can make a child feel guilty for getting someone else in trouble.

Most of all, abused children need to be assured that they have done nothing wrong.

You can take steps to prevent sexual abuse from happening.

Start teaching your children early about safety issues.

At age two or three, instruct them about the private zones of the body "the parts that a bathing suit covers" and that others should not be allowed to touch these parts.

As your children grow older, warn them that sexual abuse can occur in many settings, and that they need to say NO, get away, and tell an adult at, the first sign of danger.

Parents should realize that no child can fully protect himself or herself.

It is the nature of abuse that a more powerful person victimizes those who are helpless.

Therefore, parents must take the lead:  Make sure  you know your baby-sitter, drop in unexpectedly at your day-care center.

Know where your children are playing in your neighbourhood, talk  with your children regularly about how their day went
Make sure your church has a protective policies in its children ministry.

They only sure way of preventing the sexual abuse of children is to deny would -be perpetrators access to your children.

Jesus use harsh language in referring to those who would jeopardize the well being of children (Mark 9:42).

On the other hand, intimated that when we care for these little lambs of the flock, we are engaged in His work.



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Christian Principles: On How To Care For Aging Parents


Life is in phases, time to be nurtured by our parents and time to care of our aging parents.
The book  of Ecclesiastes is full of  hard truths about the experience of life.

One of the most unpleasant realities  we read  about is death. No one likes to think about the aging process and particularly the eventual death of parents.

"I know, " the head affirms, "that every person will grow old and die." But emotionally the heart says."Not my parents."

Reality has a way of intruding on our denial, as Ecclesiastes 12:2-7 points out.

As aging parents age and die, the family that we knew in the past changes forever.

The signs creep up on you. You aging mother says she can no longer prepare the holiday meals for the family, and it falls on you to have them over for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner.

Your aging father, who always used to tell you what to do, calls and asks your advice on whether he should travel in bad weather.

Your aging mother, who was a math whiz, suddenly can't seem to balance her checkbook.

Your realize that your father's eyesight is falling, and he really shouldn't be driving.

Incident like these are the first inkling of the inevitable role reversal, the day when you become the protector of those who protected you.

All change is uncomfortable, and this change really threatens us. Yet, as this passage of Ecclesiastes reminds us, youth and strength do not last for anyone.


Ecclesiastes comforts us, not with soothing cliches, but with the reassurance that what we are going through is both natural and normal.

Troubles will come with advancing age; darkness and cloudiness are as much a part of life as light and sunshine.

Why is it so hard for us to accept this?
Unfortunately, we live in a death denying culture that demands we suppress our awareness of life's shadows.

Nobody wants to talk about sickness and death - its too depressing and as for mourning, forget it! Nobody wants to see us mourn.

Yet, because people live so much longer today, the old sometimes suffer poor health for a long time.

As a result, adult children are often forced to begin the mourning process long before their aging parents' actual death.

When your aging parents are no longer the strong, active people you used to depend on, you mourn the loss. When you have to help them do things they can no longer do for themselves, you mourn and so do they.

Whom can we talk about this gradual grieving process?

Fortunately, we can talk to God. As our creator, he understands our needs.

We can also share our feelings with our siblings who, you may be sure, struggle with negative emotions of their own.

Finally, we should be able to share these thoughts with fellow christians who can accept our grief without judging or condemning us.

Of course, there is no substitute for experience. Those who have helped their own elderly parents  are often the best source for practical advice and empathy.

Caring for your aging parents is not an impossible burden when it is shared, as God intended it to be.
What we must not do is condemn ourselves for what the Bible says is only to be expected.
We cannot fix old age or make those who are preparing to leave this world young and whole again.
It does no good for family members to "be strong" for one another and never express  what they feel.
Talk to your aging parents about the aging process that is robbing of their vitality.
This may be difficult, but you must prepare each other for the eventual and inevitable separation.
Neither should we be putting on a happy face and pretending all is well for the benefit of other believers who there's something wrong with our christian walk if we're not joyful all the time.
When we are honest before God, he will draw us close to himself and give us his strength and joy.
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Wednesday, 20 September 2017

10 Practical Tips For Christian Family Life



Family life is a  long term business and if not well managed; it results to disaster.

In managing your family you need adequate insight in the word of God.

Christian family life from a man's perspective. If you are christian father, this article is for you.

Basic Facts For Dad's

1. As father, your role in the family is very important, it is not just providing shelter and provision for the family, it goes beyond that.

2. The respect that your kids will have for you and your spouse will depend on the loving respect that you have for each other, no matter your defects.

That is, a husband's respect and affection towards his wife generally results in the children's respect and obedience towards her.

And a wife's obvious regard for her husbands character and moral leadership results in the children's holding him in high esteem.

3. Raising a family is an adventure. Like other great adventure, it has trial and setbacks,  times of debts and uncertainty, and moments of deep happiness and triumph.

Ten Practical Tips  For Christian Family Life.
1. Devotion: Pray together as a family; a family that prays together stays together.

Ensure that the whole family prays together at least once everyday.

2. Go to church together as a family: Don't go for one mass/service and the wife and children go for another.

Being with them  at mass/service affords you the opportunity to teach them and let them know that God is most important.
3.  Spend quality time with each of your children, because communication is very important. You can ask them to tell you how they  spent their day.

By doing this you are building an intimate relationship with them and they will tell you anything.

4. Vacation: Plan outings on weekend, go to the cinemas. Plan long vacation  together; you don't have to travel out of the country. Obudu Cattle Ranch, Jos, Shoprite e.t.c are places you can visit.

5. Assign House Chores: Everyone should have a  particular chore he or she takes care of every morning; no matter how small the chore is, that is one of the  way you can teach them to serve humanity.

6. Practice washing your car with your son, it is fun for him, remember you are his hero and idol.

7. Television: The television is a great means for information and entertainment with a lot of risk; you must monitor what your children watch.

Block all pornographic channels and also draw a time table for them. They shouldn't watch the TV always.

8. Internet: It is more like the TV, you should also block all pornographic websites on their computer or smartphone.

Note: The net is very  harmful for children.
9. Academics: Periodically, you should check their performances at school. Consult their teachers and ask them about your child's performance at school.

You should ask your children how they are treated by their teachers to prevent them from being abused.

10. Finally, your family is your season film, make every season interesting.

Raising your children to fear God is one of the greatest challenges we christian parents face today.

You can't force your children against their own will; but with prayers they will certainly change to love God.

In life the greatest reward for a christian family is to have a God fearing children.
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Wednesday, 13 September 2017

The Truth About Forgiveness


The Bible makes it clear that the only way we can put negative parts of the past behind us is through unlimited forgiveness.

Our problem with forgiving comes from Four Myths about it.

1. Myth: Forgiveness is something we do quickly. Sometimes it takes time for us to work through the hurts involved.

We cant easily forgive because sin does real, lasting damage.

Yet God has made forgiveness  possible through completed work of Jesus Christ on the cross.

If we are willing to take the necessary time to forgive, we can do it.

2. Myth: Forgiveness is  the same as condoning what the person did.

Many people withhold forgiveness because they believe that to forgive is to condone the offense that occurred.

But true forgiveness never condones the wrong. No one hates sin more than God, yet God forgives.

Sin  is serious that is made clear by the high price that Jesus Christ paid on the cross.
When you forgive, you acknowledge that wrong has been done, but you don't condone it.

3. Myth: In order to forgive, you must forget. You often support this mistaken idea with verses such as psalm 103:12, which says that God removes our sins "as far away from us as the east is from the west" that is, he "forgets."
But when you insist that your forgiving must be just like God's, you lose sight of the fact that God doesn't need to learn from the experience, you do and to learn, you must remember.

If you do not, you will repeatedly place yourself in hurtful situations.

To forgive does not necessarily mean to forget.

4. Myth: Forgiveness and reconciliation are the same. Some believe that in order to forgive you must first be reconciled with the offender.

We read Matthew 5:23 "apologise and be reconciled" and believe that this teaching makes forgiveness and reconciliation the same.

But what if the person I am seeking to forgive refuses to be reconciled? Then  am  i unable to forgive? Not at all.

Forgiveness and reconciliation are completely separate.

When one person refuses reconciliation, the other can still forgive.

The Truth About Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the cancelling of a debt that cannot be paid.

We God forgave all our sins, "he took this list of sins and destroyed it by nailing it to Christ's cross" Col. 2:14.

Whatever someone has done to you, you need to acknowledge that  you can never "pay the debt."

When a bank cannot collect payment on a debt, it carefully investigates whether there is any hope of ever collecting payment, and if there isn't, It forgives the loan, cancels the debt.

You must learn to forgive others regardless of their ability or willingness to "pay the debt" you feel they owe you for whatever wrong was done.

Most often, whatever is owed to you can never be  paid back anyway.

In Jesus' day, the rabbis said that a person should forgive three times.

Why did Jesus stretch Peter's generous offer to the exorbitant number of 490 times? Because he wants us to realize that forgiveness is at the very heart of God.

If you want to be free from the bondage of the past, you can get that freedom through forgiving.

We are like the servant in the parable of the unforgiving debtor Matt 18:23-25, who was forgiven a debt he could never repay.

Gratitude for our canceled debt must make us into forgiving people. We have been forgiven, and now we need to go home and forgive. Its not easy, but families who do will thrive.

Question

What happens if the other person denies the issue or refuses to hear us out? Can we be reconciled and still forgive? See Matthew 5:23-24 and also Genesis 26:26-29.

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The Biblical Answer For Mid Life Depression And Anxiety



Secrets are in reading and reading, until you read enough you will not know enough.
This article is an article that I wrote to help parents refocus at mid life.

Unfamiliar emotions can have negative effects on us at any age, but they hit at us with unique force at mid life.

As a husband, your  wife may want more time and fulfillment.

As a mother, you feel  hassled by your children's demand or sadly by your job coming to an end,  and working women wish they had more family time.

As a husband, you may be disappointed with your occupation, feel unhappy in your marriage, and you regretfully realize your kids are growing up with a shortage of their input and camaraderie.

In Psalm 102, the writer was suffering from negative emotions. In brief but painful graphic words, he spelled out the causes of his depression and anxiety - causes reminiscent of mid life.

Seven Facts About Mid Life Depression And Anxiety

1. Shortness of life. "My days disappear like smoke.... My life is passing swiftly as the evening shadows. I am withering like grass.....(God) has cut me down in middle life, shortening my days" (w. 3, 11, 23).

You try to resist the aging process and death, yet the sun rises and sets and you are another day older.

2. Poor Health: "My health is broken" (v. 3). By mid life, physical health becomes an increasing concern.

These are the years of heart attacks, diabetes, breast tumors, and prostate cancer.

In short, the body is beginning to fall apart.
3. Loss of appetite: It's a vicious cycle, loss of appetite causes depression and compounds problems that tend to increase anxiety and depression.

"My food is tasteless, and I have lost my appetite" (v. 4).

The writer was preoccupied with his problems.
Weight loss is common during great anxiety. The result is that"I am reduced to skin and bones" (v.5).

4. Loneliness: " I am like a vulture in a far off wilderness or like an owl alone in the desert.
I lie awake, lonely as a solitary sparrow on the roof" (vv. 6-7). Each of these describes a special kind of loneliness.

The vulture reminds us of detachment as death approaches.

We can easily picture the owl, alone and hooting from an isolated branch in the darkness of night.

The third bird is a "solitary sparrow" alone on the roof.

5. Mocked by Enemies. "My enemies taunt me day after day and cause at me" (v. 8).

Success brings a feeling of having arrived, but also an unmentioned fear that other people are for you to fail.

The higher you move up the ladder, the fewer people there are ahead of you, and the more people beneath you ready to take your place.

6. Loss poise, control, and stability: Picture the writer, sitting and weeping in mourning and utter humiliation.

He lifts a cup of water to his lips, and his tears drop into his cup.

He's a broken man with a life out of control. That's what mid life feels like.

7. Loss of opportunity: The psalmist contrasted his own fame with God's: "My life is passing swiftly as the evening shadows. I am withering like grass, while you. Lord, are a famous King forever.

Your name will endure to every generation" (vv. 11 - 12).

The person in mid life depression sees that life is coming to an end and feels that he or she has done nothing of significance: I am a passing, finite, frail, dying human who has accomplished nothing.

8. Impending Death: "He has  cut me down in middle life, shortening my days" (v. 23).
By mid life you begin to see death as imminent reality.

Days are numbered, and the focus switches from counting the years since birth to counting the years before death.

We naturally tend to reach out for solutions to depression and anxiety.

The difficulty is that some solutions are not effective.

Our problems do not have human answers.
You cannot lengthen your life, avoid death, in our own strength become famous, change the mind of an enemy, or eliminate a physical health problem.

But we can recognize, as did the psalmist, that God  is concerned for us and with us.

"He will listen to the prayers of the destitute for he is never too busy to heed their request" (v. 17).

You can find real help for depression by looking and laying the causes of your   depression at his feet. God knows our needs and he love us.

Deeper View on Mid life Depression And Anxiety:

The answer for mid life depression and anxiety is to all God to define who we should be and what we should be doing with our life. Read how the prophet Elijah went through this process (1 Kings 19).
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Sunday, 3 September 2017

Lessons From Jesus Christ As A Child Of Aging Parents


Besides Jesus, Mary and Joseph had at least eight children: Six boys and two girls.

Plenty to care for them in their old age, right?
Actually, it appears as if Mary  and Joseph's kids reneged on this important obligation.

Joseph probably died before Jesus began his ministry, but Mary was still around. And probably because Mary believed in Jesus and followed and supported him, Jesus' brothers left all the care of Mary to him.

They thought that Jesus was crazy and stayed away from him (and their mother) all during his public ministry.

That's why, when Jesus was dying on the cross, he had a brief conversation with John.

"She is your mother," Jesus said to him. John knew what he meant: I can no  longer take care of Mary, John. Will you do it for me?

It's no coincidence that Jesus asked John to do this. John was one of Jesus' closest friends.

Jesus knew He could count on him. He didn't give the job to just anybody.

There were no nursing homes, government agencies, or special programs for the needy in Jesus' day. When Jesus said to John, "She is your mother," he was giving the job to someone who would not let him down.

The issue is the same for us: What will do when our parents can no longer take care of themselves?

Two Lessons From Jesus As A Child Of Aging Parents

Adult children have a responsibility to care for their aging parents.

If aging  parents need someone to care for them, we need to answer the call.

Take good care of your parents if they cannot take good care of themselves.

Parents need their children. In the beginning, parents take care of children. But eventually the roles reverse.

Plan for it. As a child, Jesus obeyed his mother. As an adult, he arranged for her to be well cared for after he was gone.

That's how it should be.
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Three Winning Words "Never Give Up"



When you refuse to give up, then you can never be defeated.

I love reading about people who beat the odds. I love reading about people who were told they would never amount to anything, and they proved everyone wrong.
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